HOT NEWS!
NOVEMBER 9, 2016 - URGENT UPDATE!!!
Please DON'T BLAME ME FOR THE ELECTION RESULT!
This was my first time running for office and I didn't have enough practice in politics to be successful. Instead, I will be running for Mayor of New York City in 2017 and will work my way back up to running for President in 2020. More updates soon!
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MADE IT TO NIGERIAN NEWSPAPERS-
(SPECIAL DEALS FOR ALL AMERICANS COMING YOUR WAY SOON!!)
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November 8, 2016 - CHECK OUT THE WIKIPEDIA ENTRY
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November 6, 2016 - Check out my interview with the BUFFALO NEWS
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November 3, 2016 - Check out my interview with the NEW YORK TIMES
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November 2, 2016 - Check out my interview on WCBS-TV New York
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October 31, 2016 - Greenwich Village Halloween Parade Celebrity Appearance
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October 26, 2016 - Check out my interview with POLITICO
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Hillary Caught Stealing Write-In Candidate’s Platform After Rejecting Invite
On Wednesday October 26, 2016, Democratic Presidential nominee Hillary Clinton sat down with The Breakfast Club at Power 105.1, New York’s Hip-Hop and R&B, to discuss her campaign and the looming election. After 20 minutes of lighthearted banter with DJ Envy, Charlamagne Tha God, and Angela Yee, Clinton steered the conversation to a more serious and controversial issue: dance in America. “I think we need a big national dance. Maybe bring everybody together,” said Clinton. This sudden show of support for such a hot-button issue by a major party candidate has shocked New Yorkers across the state, none more than Write-in Presidential candidate and Dance Party member Michael Ingbar. “This is a clearly a desperate grab at my electoral base in the final days before the election!” said Mr. Ingbar. “Clinton has had no record of supporting dance in America – something I’ve built my entire political career upon. But now, as the election nears, she’s clearly willing to do whatever it takes to win, even stealing the platform of a political rival!”
Although pressed by Mr. Tha God for details, Clinton chose only to say that she hoped to close our nation’s “fun deficit”.
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October 21, 2016
Imaginary Friend Millicent Hathaway Denied Candidacy by New York State
When it comes to unconventional candidates, the 2016 Presidential Election has certainly delivered. Candidates such as Darth Vader of Spokane, WA and Mickey Mouse of Anaheim, CA are officially registered write-in candidates in their states and a vote for them will be tallied right alongside those for Clinton and Trump. Allowing candidates such as Cookie Hydrox of Newport Coast, CA to run for federal office only highlights the injustice of the New York State Board of Elections’ decision this week to deny Millicent Hathaway’s Vice Presidential nomination. The Board justified their decision on the grounds that since Ms. Hathaway doesn’t technically exist, she can’t produce the required notarized signature. I find this treatment of such a strong, capable woman (and the best employee I’ve ever had) to be discriminatory and deeply insulting. I would challenge Paul Y Potato of Potatoville, ID or Buddy the Elf of North Pole, AK to produce half the qualifications that Millicent has to be Vice President.
This challenge to my campaign has only been with a strengthened resolve. Last Tuesday, following the news of Millicent’s rejection, I officially nominated Steven Jacobson (real human person) as my Vice President. Moving forward, our campaign will focus anew on defending the rights of disadvantaged women like Millicent who have been denied the right to vote or run for office based upon their state of actual existence.
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From: Invites <invites@hillaryclinton.com>
Date: Sat, Oct 1, 2016 at 3:35 PM
Subject: Thank You for Your Invitation
Dear Michael,
Thank you for your gracious invitation to Secretary Clinton. She is grateful for your invitation to participate in the Presidential Dance Challenge.
Due to significant scheduling constraints on the Secretary’s calendar, she will be unable to accept your invitation at this time. However, we are making note of your invitation along with your contact information and will be in touch with you should another opportunity arise.
Please know that you have Secretary Clinton's best wishes for a productive and enjoyable event, and that she looks forward to earning your support as we work together to create a better future for all. Thank you, once again, for your interest.
Sincerely,
Hillary for America